I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
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