I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
