i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
