if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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