So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
