So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
