cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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