in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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