is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
