Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
