So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
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Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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