So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
