I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
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I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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