That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
