At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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