Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
