just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I still have a little drunk in my system
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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