On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
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Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
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Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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