I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
