cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
