I hope mine doesn't look like that
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
