guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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