hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
