I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just want nice things and good sex
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
