I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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