I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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