how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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