drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So I just went to clothing optional bar
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
