Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
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All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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