She went from zero to smokin in five shots
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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