I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize