I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
