i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
