I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
