I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
