Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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