Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i dont even know how to be here
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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