Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's blow job season.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
