so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
