i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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