I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
