She's JV to your varsity
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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