It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
