i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
