i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
