I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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