I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Come see our sink grown plant.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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