Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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