he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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