Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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