the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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