Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
