can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think my moral compass just broke
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