hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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