peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize