the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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