I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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