Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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