Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
