Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
