shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
