we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Ketchup is God's man juice
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
