508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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