Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
