It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
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