I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize