I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
