Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
