Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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